Thanking the greatest person in my life

I would like to dedicate today’s entry to the greatest person in my life. She has been there for me through thick and thin. At times I didn’t deserve her to even acknowledge me. She is a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman who I can’t thank enough. I am proud to call this person, my mother.
Growing up being the oldest of three children and being the only girl, my mom and I bumped heads a lot. I use to blame all my problems on her, where in fact it I should have been blaming myself. As a little girl I use to enjoy the small things she did for me. My favourite was when we use to lay in bed on a Sunday morning and she would play with my hair. Still now as an adult when I feel my life going crazy I will climb into bed with her and just lay there in silence, while she plays with my hair.
When I became a teenager we started to fight. Fight over everything. I would just yell at her and treat her like shit. When people ask me if I have any regrets, my biggest is all the pain I caused her. Not telling my mom that she is great.
I know that some people will debate that their mothers are the greatest mother in the world. But in my world my mom is. Even now it still brings tears to my eyes to know all the hurt that I caused her and I will live the rest of my life making it up to her. Not only is she my mother, she is my best friend. We share laughter, tears and everything in between.

Mom ,
Just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything you have done for Riley and me. There were times I know that you wish you could have just run away. Now in your `special year` I would like to acknowledge everything you have done for me. I know I made it very hard for you to love me at times. Even at our worst you stood next to me. And for that I love you.
Sincerely Your Daughter, Stacey

Spring

Song, from Act V, Scene 2 of Love’s Labors Lost by William Shakespeare (1598)


When daisies pied, and violets blue,
And lady-smocks all silver-white,
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
“Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.

When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,
And merry larks are ploughmen’s clocks,
When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,
And maidens bleach their summer smocks,
The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men, for thus sings he:
“Cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear.

Summer is right around the corner

Wow, it’s a very sunny Saturday, spring day. The birds are chirping, flowers are starting to bud and the kids are outside playing. It’s the best time of the year, summer is right around the corner. Soon we will have our children riding their bikes, playing road hockey, roller bladding and much more. I am going to take this time to remind everyone about how we have to keep out an extra eye for our children. For some of these kids it will be the first time they are allowed to leave with out mom and dad to be right beside them reminding them of the good and bad things. I understand it can be a pain in the backside to have to tell the same kids over and over again the things you tell them every year. (Get off my grass, watch out for cars, and anything else that is important) Some children may think you are trying to centre them out, but rather you are just trying to look out for them. Where I live we need more neighbours like that, the ones who watch out for the kids to make sure for one, they aren’t putting themselves in danger and second, that they aren’t getting in trouble. When I was a child, and we were doing something wrong, it was always guaranteed that someone would say something to you. We always listened to them and obeyed what they had to say. That’s what made us be on our best behaviour, with always having the thought that someone was watching us. Now if you catch the kids doing something wrong and you say something, you are at risk of having something done to your house or them freak out on you.

NEXT….

With the nicer weather the kids just want to get outside and ride their new bikes or play sports. They may even do this without remembering what to watch out for. I took the liberty of writing down a list of things that every parent should go through with their children, regardless of their age.
1. Watch out for cars, motorcycles, trucks and/or anything else that may be on the road
2. If any toys go over the fence, DON’T climb over the fence. If you are able to knock on the door and get permission to go on their property. If no one is there, you will have to wait. You don’t know if there is anything that may harm you.(pets, a pool, or anything that may be appealing to a small child)
3. Be careful when playing by any vehicles. You don’t want to break anything that doesn’t belong to you
4. Never climb or enter any hydro areas.
5. Never open any electrical boxes
6. Walk around your neighbourhood and point out any block parents(where applicable)
7. Never go inside any abbanded warehouses, buildings or houses
8. Never walk on railway tracks
9. Never enter wooded areas without first letting someone know, and if you can always have someone with you
10. Never get into are vehicle with someone you don’t know. For younger children remind them that some people may even use statements along the lines of, you want some candy, want some toys, I have lost my dog can you help me, and so on and so forth
11. Always ride your bike/or rollor blade with a helmet ( IT’S THE LAW)

We all enjoy the nice weather and I understand that we may get caught up in the moment when having fun. As a community we all have to keep an eye out for one another. It is usually when something negative happens that we sit our children down and talk to them about what to watch out for. If I can save one person from not getting hurt then my blog is doing its job.

HAVE A SAFE AND ENJOYABLE SUMMER.

What are we doing to our children

Well today I had to run some errands, while waiting for the bus I seen an advertisement(not going to name the store it was for, that doesn`t matter) on the bus shelter of three women hugging each other with hardly any clothes. One of the women was actually grabbing her breast under her shirt. then off to the left there is a man watching the three women in his glory. As being disgusted I turned away. Then i saw it, I saw a little girl, maybe 7, running up to the bus shelter screaming `mommy, mommy see this is the outfit I want`. It was then that it hit me what we are doing to these girls. She stared at the picture as if it was God. She was staring at that then looking down at herself as if she was disgusted at what she saw. Let me explain to you that she was a very beautiful child. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, she was just like a child star. But how she looked at herself was just sad. I cant get over that she, a seven year old innocent child, wants to be a size zero, bony, wearing hardly any clothing. Now I haven't actually seen this personally at home, due to having a boy. To see that this is actually going on makes me sick. I am kicking myself in the butt now, but I was just so stunned, i wanted to tell her that she is perfect in so many ways the way she is. But I just stood there speechless.
If at seven she wishes she was `model material` how is she going to look at herself in a few years when she starts going through puberty? When her hips start to expand, or when her skin starts to change. She is going to look at herself as a monster. When are the designers, photographers and everyone else screwing up our youth going to stop? Why cant we have models who resemble the average women? Someone who has some curves, wearing some clothes, and by god may even have a pimple...

Birth of my son, Riley

So in my first blog I stated that I had a son when I was 17 years old. Please do not judge me. I learned very fast to put my son Riley first. I see some young mothers who its has to be all about them. It was August 21 2004 the day Riley was born I had to start to think about what it is going to have to take to raise this perfect baby. See Riley was born sick for no apparent reason. He had a hole in the heart, no muscle tone, he would not eat at all(he took his first feeding through a feeding tube) and as the Doctor was trying to discharge us I was fighting with her trying to tell her to check him out. I knew right away that there was something off with him. Still everyone looked at me as a 17 year old seeking attention. It was not until i set off the baby alert bracelet and ran into NI CU that another Doctor told me to go to my room and wait for him to come back.(I still to this day have never seen a doctor run so fast) I don`t even think I had enough time to lay Riley down in the bassinet before the Doctor came and took him into another small room. he started to pick him with needles. Putting in an IV line, setting him on a heart machine and doing a full assessment. It was so scary, I was standing behind a glass window not allowed to go into the room. It felt like it was forever before someone came out and told me what was going on. When they did come out they explained to me that Riley would have to stay in the hospital for a while. The rest of that night is a blur to me. What I do remember is a lot of crying, guilt and not knowing what to do. i made Riley a promise that night. I promised that I would put all of his needs in front of my own. The hospital Riley was in had apartments and they let me stay there so i could learn about the machines that Riley would be sent home with. When Riley was one week old I was able to go stay there. The very first night Riley pulled his feeding tube out. That morning while we waited for the doctor to come back in to put the feeding tube back in, Riley took a bottle. That was the first time that I looked at him and knew that from that day forward we would be a team. It was so amazing. It restored all faith in him getting better. He had a few episodes of sleep apnea, and one of the hospital rules is that he had to go a full week with no episodes, if so the week would start over. When Riley was three weeks and two days old I was able to bring Riley home.

Exercise Part 1

OK this is new for me. i wanted somewhere where I can write my feelings but also have input about what I am feeling.
Now this blog has been influenced about the extra pounds I have added to my body. My background weight story is; as a child I was the girl running around doing whatever the boys were doing but better. i pushed myself several times just to prove to everyone, anything the boys could do girls can do as well, if not better. As I got older I noticed that I wasn't the skinniest but i wasn't chubbiest either. I just wasn't-MODEL material. I actually had a man tell me that I should watch what I eat cause my size seven 15 year old body was not appealing.(What I would do to have that body back) I would go days without eating just so I could try to get rid of those non-appealing extra pounds. I got pregnant at 16 and had my handsome son when I was 17. it was after I had my son that noticed how different my body was. It was if my mind and my body were fighting against each other. Once again I tried to take the easy way out and would try to go as long as I could without eating. That only works for short term, and I am perfect example of how that does not work. Any pounds that i lost I gained back but doubled. Now being 23 years old I am 210 pounds and its not that I am not happy with in myself, but for the first time in my life I want to look how I feel. I am going to start working out and eating well all the while posting blogs along my struggle to lose the weight. I understand that there will be good days and not so good days. But I do know that I am not the only one out here struggling with the extra pounds. Please feel free to write with me with what your doing to make yourself feel great, and if you are already where you want to be please let me know what helped you.

This is where my question comes into my blog. ``Who says what size we have to be?``

i will start my challenge in the morning, so I hope to talk to anyone else who feels they need a good healthy challenge to start to feel good about themselves too. Have a good night sleep, tomorrow is the start of something totally new.